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Armed response to reptilesArmed response to reptiles

2003-11-01 - 4:27 p.m.
Welcome to November :>

Last night we had R's family over for her mom's birthday. We actually had a fair degree of fun, which is unusual. Unfortunately at one point someone suggested we meet up Sunday afternoon also. Why is that bad? Well tonight we're having our Samhain, Dumb Supper and general party, which means that the Milk of Amnesia will be flowing freely and we'll probably feel like crap tomorrow.

Yesterday morning, a small bullfrog snuck into the house and wandered around the kitchen. The cats saw it, and immediately charged as one unit, then sat down in front of it and gave it the biggest starin' at of its life.

R. found the three cats and the bullfrog in this little milieu when she got up and put it out of the house with the cats meowing at it in a manner which threatened even harsher stares if it came back.

This morning I got up and found a small brown snake on the carpet. One of them had killed it. I guess the 4" snake presented more of a threat to them.

Now what worries me about all this is how the hell did these reptiles get in my house? I don't like reptiles in the house. If I did, I'd invite my lawyer over, but I never do.

I don't mind the Pink Geckos outside the House of the Pink Gecko, and I don't even mind if one wanders in, since they're kind of like family in a way. But Frogs, Snake, Lawyers, Realtors, ex-spouses and any other cold-blooded creatures are required to respect our privacy so I don't have to start invoking the 2nd and 4th amendments.

Speaking of which, whilst I was working from home yesterday, I heard someone fiddling with the backdoor. Quietly, as if they didn't want to be heard.

I got up carefully and grabbed something long and hard. No, not that. This one was pointed and made of metal. And it doesn't take batteries for those of you who still insist on going there.

The tumblers dropped, and the door started to open. I moved quietly behind it...and watched J. sneak into the house in an attempt to 'suprise' me.

"..and you're dead." I said. he turned around startled and laughed.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood. And don't do that at night. You know how sharp this thing is? If I hadn't realised it was you, you'd have lost a limb so fast you wouldn't even noticed until you tried to look at the time later and found your arm wasn't on."
"You'd really have done that? Kill first and ask questions later?"
"Actually, I can't think of any questions I'd want to ask."
"Okay then, I won't do it"

Of course I wouldn't. It would probably take an attempted first strike for me to actually kill an intruder, but it's safer for J. if he thinks I'm a bit unbalanced when it comes to homeland security. God knows I wouldn't be the only one :>

Ok, I guess I need to start geeting ready for tonight. After I've had a little relax from the shock of spending $142 on dry cleaning!

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  • Name: Catpewk
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