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Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Baked Beans, Spam & Spam.Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Baked Beans, Spam & Spam.

2003-12-23 - 8:06 a.m.
My junk mail is getting stranger. Here is one from this morning:

Dear Mr. Catpewk

A unique art - gold Kirin (2.1x1.6m) worths USD21.8million, made of pure gold and natural gem. We believe the famous Japanese Movie Festival - "Gold Kirin" Award needs such a TOTEM. If your enterprises present this gift to Japanese Government or the Movie Festival sponsor, we just can't imagine the great meaning and profitable returns for your enterprise.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Chuanzhi Hu

Shenzhen Yanfeng Industrial Int'l
Bldg.35, 2nd Bagua Rd., Shenzhen, China 518029
Tel: 86-755-82400232-154
Fax: 86-755-82450023



Actually this helped me out a lot. I had totally forgotten to put the Japanese government on my christmas list this year. Damn I'm such a flake - I'm always leaving them off. Here's another wierd one:

Free Cable* TV

cubbyhole boss cytology b's bracket nation gauntlet chairperson trustworthy hendrick praise pubescent bookbind aflame archival resolution laminate dehumidify centrex christoffel inflict autocracy stupid

minion bravo consecrate clutter middleweight version bash dogwood lavabo term beechwood chaparral poseur begetting deviate margaret caliphate obstinacy chablis bestirring bevel abstain aberdeen cavil audiotape scurrilous rupture tomb schelling slug loudspeaker tame barnhard rotten chatty barbudo cyanide bach bethlehem redstone

No link, no picture, no nothing. What the hell is THAT all about? Is someone trying to feed a grepper somewhere, or do they just not get it?

Then of course there's the standard junk, which is beginning to look more and more like a foreign language as they try and bypass the spam filters:

Many Specials running this week


not like the other sites that imitate these products.

  • No hidd.en char.ges - Fast Delivery
  • Vic.odin Val.ium
  • Via.gra Diaz.epam Alpra.zolam
  • Fior.icet Amb.ien
  • Stil.nox Ult.ram
  • Clon.azepam At.ivan Tr.amadol
  • Cele.brex Vi.oxx
  • Pro.zac Bus.par Much M.ore....

    I love that line "not like the other sites that imitate these products". Oh yeah? If your product is so legit, why are you sending out cheapass junkmail from a lame .biz address? Huh? Answer that while you're off your meds.

    And another thing, do you not get the whole concept of spam filters? They are designed to stop people getting emails they don't want. You think by running your crap through morse-code generator its suddenly going to make people leap up from their chairs and shout 'M.y G.od! I was! I act.ually do ne.ed Diaz.epam!'

    Get the hell out of the genepool ya lamer. You're fucking it up for the rest of us!

    And then we have the standard Nigerian Forex scam:


    I am Alhaji Mohammed Abacha, the son of the late Nigerian Head of State who died on the 8th of June 1998 while in active services.

    Following the sudden death of my father, General Sani Abacha, the present Civilian Government has thrown my family and I into a state of utter confusion, frustration,and hopelessness. I have been subjected to

    inhuman physical and physiological torture, incarceration by the security Agents in my country. I was only recently released from detention after been arraigned before the Federal High Court of Nigeria for an offence committed by my late father.

    The incumbent civilian administration of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo has intensified his probe into my

    late father's activities while in the office and he has frozen all our local and foreign accounts together

    with other assets of my family as a retaliation for what my late father did to him when he was alive as

    the Head of the Military regime in Nigeria. As a matter of fact, we have been declared bankrupt and

    they are not relenting to make us poor for life.

    As a man that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with anybody within my country as all those who benefited immensely during the regime of my late father have openly abandoned all my family.


    I got your contacts through my personal research and out of desperation decided to reach you through this


    You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money

    deposited by my late father in different Banks and security firms abroad. Some of these banks and

    security firms willingly gave-up/divulge their banking secrets and disclosed to the present civilian

    administration of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, all my family's cash lodgement and monetary transactions with


    Please my dear, I repose great confidence in you and I hope you will not betray my confidence in you.

    I have secretly deposited the sum of $20,000,000.00 with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for

    now until we open communications. The money is contained in a metal box consignment with Security

    Deposit Number.

    I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your Bank account for safekeeping. This

    arrangement is known to you and my junior brother (Abbas) only. So I will deal directly with you. I am

    proposing a 20% share of the fund to you for your kind assistance. I shall provide for you all the documents

    of the fund deposit with the security firm, and raise a power of attorney `to enable you claim and receive

    this fund into your bank account.

    Also this transaction demands absolute

    confidentiality. On no condition must you disclose it to anybody irrespective of your relation with the person. Remember, Loose lips sinks ship

    I am looking forward to your urgent and positive response via my email above.

    Best regards

    Alhaji Mohammed Abacha.

    View this website for more info

    Loose lips sink ships? Where are we? Back in London Underground while Hitler's bombing the crap out the city? I must admit the tone and grammar of these letters has improved quite considerably recently. What saddens me though is that for every Nigerian idiot that wants to pull of this scam, there is at least one greedy US idiot who thinks its real. Oh well, I hope they'll both be very happy together.

    Today is Tuesday, and since I've just wasted about half and hour on this drivel, I guess I better get some work done, if I intend to get out of here before Christmas 2005...

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