To be more precise, I got up, took a shower, and didn't have any coffee. Then I failed to have a cigarette. Then I went to the store and bought washing powder and cereal.

I walked to the store. Round trip about 3 miles.

When I came back I did my crunches and weights.

Then I failed again to have a cigarette. Time elapsed since getting up, 2 and a half hours.

I usually have a cigarette about an hour after waking. Any earlier and I hate it.

I want to quit, I've decided now. R. wants to quit (kinda sorta) also, and is suggesting we go to a hypnotist. But the problem is that realistically, if one of us lapses, we both will lapse.

Finally, around 11:00 am I made some fresh coffee and had a cup. Then I felt ready for a cigarette. I knew I could handle it without being dragged down by the nicotine.

I was, of course, wrong. This is the insipid, tricksy nature of addiction. It will fool you in all kinds of ways.
The key is to create a hard center of control that will not be reasoned with, cajoled, threatened or persuaded. An override program that has a conditional statement:

If Mind->TrainOfThought.endResult() = HAVE_CIGARETTE Then

Insert into Brain.BullshitDetector ( hazardousThoughtProcess) VALUES(Mind->TrainofThought)
Mind.Delete Mind->TrainOfThought

End if

The above code is for an object-oriented language used in programming wetware. I called it Spiritual Basic v 1.0. It's a language that can be used to program the brain. Unfortunately, there is no compiler for it yet...

Enjoy your weekend.

Me.logOut()