SEATTLE: US software titan Microsoft Corp announced Tuesday that it has developed wireless internet access for port-a-potties to be used during concerts and other events.

"This is not a joke," says Microsoft spokesman Brian Peterson. Microsoft plans to replace the traditional newspaper as reading material in the "small room" with state-of-the-art wireless Internet access.

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I bloody well wish it was a joke!

I mean come on. The lines at these events are long enough as it is without having to wait on some nimrod who is busy surfing the web instead of wiping his butt. Or adding his own special essence to the place while one-handedly surfing alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.

Or even worse, someone drops a web cam in there!

The largest R&D department on the whole planet and this is what they come up with? No wonder this planet's in the crapper....