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Survivor: Death RowSurvivor: Death Row

2003-05-31 - 5:25 p.m.
Believe it or not, I actually mailed off my passport application today! Now half of my most important documents (birth certificate and passport) are in a little UPS envelope winging their way to Washington, DC. Hopefully, anyway.

So, Concorde is taking its last flight, I see. Another example of the gradual decline of our 'civilization'.
  • We used to have Supersonic commercial airlines
  • We used to have antibiotics that worked
  • We used to have home delivery of groceries over the web!
  • We used to Walk on the Moon

  • If you know any other examples of how our society is going backwards, please add a comment on it.

    We need something to put some life back into our society, and I think I have the answer: SURVIVOR: DEATH ROW

    Okay bear with me on this one.

  • Live from Death Row, TX, its Survivor!
  • Each week inmates compete for the chance to be 'safe' that week.
  • At the end of the show, they vote to see who is going to get the chop this week
  • The audience can vote for their favorite form of execution: - Electrocution (brought to you by Enron)
    - La Guillotine (Bic)
    - Firing Squad (Smith & Wesson)
    - Lethal Injection (Ely Lilley)
  • I mean think of the benefits!

  • The sponsorship revenues alone would cover the costs of production and the costs of inmate care - thus reducing the burden on tax payers...
  • Think of the impact on youngsters considering a life of violent crime who know that the same idiots that voted for Ruben will be deciding whether to shove ice picks into their balls (brought to you by Ginsu, the only icepick you'll ever need) or subject them to the death of a thousands cuts (Sponsored by Gillette - The first shaves you close, the second closer still..the third, closer still...the fourth....). Imagine how much of a deterrent THAT would be!

    And let's not forget that its the right thing to do as a moral society. No, really, think about it. You're supposed to shoot your own dog, right? No..wait! I meant..if it goes bad...I didn't mean, right now! Well anyway, we, as a society are responsible for deciding to kill them. We need to acknowledge and face up to the decisions we have made (yes, yes, I know they made decisions too, ya-de-ya-da) instead of just sweeping it all under the rug. And why not make a little money back for the victims while we're at it, eh? Perhaps we could let their relatives carry out the punishment. Or, better yet, GUEST CELEBRITIES! We could have them say a little something as they pull the switch/rope/trigger etc.:

  • Danny Glover - No way you live, No Way!
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger - Hasta La Vista Baby!
  • Steven Segal - Fuck you and die!
  • George W. Bush - You're either with us, or you're against us!

    Well you get the idea....Ok, methinks I've rambled on enough, and probably scared away most of you :> Let me know you're thoughts, if you're still here though - I know its cruel, callous and only a soulless bastard would even contemplate such a thing. Maybe I'll try and sell it to the networks...

    Today's websites

  • UPS - The passport, remember?

  • The Death Row Book

    Today's Famous Last Words

  • I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.~~ Humphrey Bogart
  • Don't let poor Nelly (his mistress, Nell Gwynne) starve.

    ~~ Charles II, King of England

  • I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.

    ~~ Richard Feynman, physicist

  • "Rosebud" - Citizen Kane
  • Alright that's that :)

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  • Name: Catpewk
  • Age: 43
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