Today I had a Chinese Fire Drill to take care of. In case you don't know, a Chinese Fire Drill is where everyone runs around like a bunch of headless chickens without achieving anything meaningful. Once again it was left to yours truly to deliver the coup de grace to today's particularly pointless problem.

I managed to make time for lunch in the middle of all this and so, after buying the next installment in the Anita Blake - Vampire Hunter series (this one's called 'Obsidian Butterly'), I headed down to Jack Astor's. The crisis-that-really-wasn't had made me late and the place was pretty full, so I had to sit in the corner booth of the smoking section instead of my usual spot. Astor's is a bar-cum-restaurant where I can sit and smoke and read of a lunchtime and no-one bothers me. Lunch usually puts me out by $10-$15 but its worth it to get left alone. I used to go to IHOP until the waiters started fighting over whose 'regular' I was.

Seat, Cigs, Phone, Menu. Something Cajun today I think. Weekend waitress (don't know her name, just that she works Friday and Mondays) comes over with my ice water.

"What'll it be?"
"Jambalaya, please"
"SHIT!!!"
Now that wasn't the reaction I was used to getting. "Okay then" or "I'll have it right out" was what I was expecting.

"What's wrong?"
She smiled, "Nothing"
"C'mon, Spill it"
"If I told you I'd have to kill you"
"How about you slap me around for a while and give me a clue?"
"Nu-huh" This was getting annoying."
"How about I slap you around for a while until you give me a clue?"

Well it turns out that they bet on me. Every week I have one of maybe half a dozen choices: Steak or Chicken Fajitas (no tortillas), Thai Chicken Curry (No Rice), Salmon on a Raft, Jambalaya or Greek Salad. My choices vary from day to day, but only within these parameters. I should have seen this coming. I have become a human Roulette Wheel. Every day the waitresses, bartenders and cooks all get together and bet on what I'm going to have. This explains why some days one of them will have a shit-eating grin on their face, and other days be semi-pissy.

So now you know. I am predictable, but in a random kind of way.

On Monday, I think I'll order chicken wings....